Why He Won’t Ask You Out On a Date

You’ve matched. You’ve chatted. There’s a vibe and still nothing happens. You wait for him to take the initiative. Suggest a date. Pick a time and place. Instead, the chat conversation fades or stops completely. It’s easy to take it personally but in most cases, that’s not where the problem lies.

In theory, dating is equal but in practice, it’s still surprisingly traditional. Many men feel expected to take full responsibility for the first step: driving the conversation, suggesting the date, planning it and often paying for it. Not once but again and again. With new people and in the same format. Eventually, it stops feeling fun and starts feeling like a project. So something very human happens: people postpone. Wait a little longer and keep chatting instead of taking the step. Not because interest is missing, but because the setup costs more energy than it gives back.

Traditional dating apps are said to make meeting easier. Research shows they often do the opposite. A study shows how dating apps can create feelings of comparison, inferiority, and lowered self-esteem. When people are reduced to profiles to be chosen or rejected, the sense of safety decreases – and with it, the willingness to take initiative in real life. Asking someone out requires a lot of courage. Courage requires safety.

Stockholm is full of singles who want to meet, so desire isn’t the problem. The format creates a gap. Women wait to be asked out. Men hesitate to take full responsibility for the first date. The result is long chats, high expectations, and very few actual meetings.

When the first meeting feels like something that must be planned, delivered, (and payed for), it loses its lightness. Staying in chat feels easier than stepping into real life. This isn’t about lack of interest. It’s about a dating format that makes the first meeting unnecessarily difficult.

When singles meet in groups through activities, something shifts. No one has to invent the perfect date. No one carries all the responsibility. No one has to perform from minute one. Or pay for anyone else. You meet in a shared context. Talk when it feels right. Take your time to feel it out. That makes initiative easier. And meeting other singles far more likely.

MinglMe is The Singles Social Club. For singles in Stockholm who want to meet IRL without getting stuck in old roles. Here, men and women meet through activities, always in groups. That way, no one waits. And no one has to ask and carry all the responsibility. Chat comes afterward, and only if you want. Dating becomes more relaxed. More equal. And more real.

Create an account and try MinglMe free for 14 days. When you book an activity, the trial ends automatically because you start using the membership for real. After that, membership is 149 SEK/month, no binding period.