How do you meet new people as an adult?
It can feel surprisingly difficult to meet new people as an adult. You go to work, shop, exercise and head home – but where are all those new people actually supposed to come into your life? When you were younger, new connections seemed to happen almost automatically. Through school, university, friends, parties and new jobs. As an adult, you often have to create those opportunities yourself.
Quick answer: The easiest way to meet new people as an adult is to find situations where you do something together. Activities, classes, sports, clubs, dinners and social events make it easier to start talking because the focus isn’t solely on getting to know each other. If you’re single, there are also activities where everyone taking part is single – without it having to feel like a date.
Why does it get harder to meet new people as an adult?
It’s not necessarily because we’ve become less social. Everyday life has simply changed. Many people already have established circles of friends. Colleagues go home to their families after work. Friends have children, move away or have less time. Maybe you’ve gone through a separation, moved to a new city or simply realised that your social life has become smaller than you’d like. Suddenly, those natural places where new people constantly enter your life are no longer there. So you have to create them yourself.
1. Do something together with other people
It’s much easier to get to know someone when you have something else to focus on besides each other. Go for a run together. Take a class. Cook. Play pétanque. Join a guided tour. Try padel. Paint. Go to a quiz. When people do something together, small conversations happen naturally. “Have you done this before?” is much easier than: “So, tell me about yourself.” That’s also the idea behind activity dating. The activity comes first, and connections between people are given the chance to develop naturally along the way.
2. Choose settings where you’re likely to see the same people again
One meeting doesn’t have to change your social life. Often, it’s the repetition that makes the difference. The same training group every week. A course that runs for several sessions. A club or association. Recurring activities or a community where you start recognising familiar faces. The first time, you say hello. The second time, you start talking. The third time, someone might suggest grabbing a coffee. New connections need time to turn into relationships. Bringing more people into your everyday life is also part of a bigger question: what do you actually want your single life to look like? Read more about life as a single person and how to create a life you enjoy.
3. Go even if you don’t have anyone to go with
This might be the biggest hurdle. You find something that looks fun and think: “But who am I going to go with?” The problem is that this thought can easily keep you doing exactly the same things with exactly the same people. Sometimes, you need to go on your own to actually meet someone new. It might feel a little nerve-racking beforehand. But try choosing settings where there’s an activity, a host or a clear structure. That way, you don’t have to walk into a room and try to mingle on your own. And if that’s the part that’s holding you back, you can read You can come even if you’re coming on your own.
4. Say yes a little more often
New people often come into our lives through fairly random situations. A colleague asks if you want to join them for after-work drinks. Someone needs a fourth player for padel. A friend invites you to a dinner where the host is the only person you know. It’s easy to say no when staying on the sofa feels easier. But if you want to change your social life, sometimes you need to give chance a little more room to work. You don’t have to say yes to everything. But maybe a little more often than you do today.
5. Take a small initiative when you click with someone
Meeting people is only the first step. Someone also has to take that small next step. “Want to grab a coffee sometime?” “Would you like to go to that exhibition?” “Should we book the same activity next time?” It doesn’t have to be any bigger than that. Many adults wait for the other person to take the initiative. So two people can really enjoy each other’s company and still never see each other again.
If you’re single
Being single can make this question feel even more relevant. Maybe many of your friends have partners and families. Friday nights look different. Weekends need to be planned in a different way. And sometimes, you simply want to meet more people who are in a similar situation. If being single sometimes feels lonely too, we’ve gathered practical ideas on how to create a richer social life as a single person. That doesn’t necessarily mean you want to date. Maybe you want someone to go to a concert with. Someone to have dinner with. Someone to work out with. More people you can call on a Saturday afternoon. And maybe you’d also like to meet someone to fall in love with. Those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. We wrote more about that feeling in I want to meet someone – but I don’t want to date.
Where can you meet new people?
Good settings are often ones where:
- people actually talk to each other
- you do something together
- it feels natural to come on your own
- the same people, or similar kinds of people, come back
- there’s time for conversation
- you genuinely enjoy the activity yourself
That last point matters. Don’t go to something just because you think you “should” be able to meet people there. Do things you actually enjoy. That way, you already have something in common with the people you meet.
If you want to meet other singles
At a regular class, restaurant or training group, you obviously don’t know who’s single. That’s one of the reasons MinglMe exists. MinglMe is The Singles Social Club – a community where singles meet through activities and experiences in real life. You choose something you genuinely want to do and meet other singles in a group. You don’t have to show up with the goal of finding love. You can come to run, cook, play, discover something new or simply enjoy a more social evening with other people. Maybe you’ll make a new friend. Maybe you’ll meet someone you’d like to see again. Maybe nothing more happens than you having a really enjoyable evening. That’s enough too.
Start with a setting, not a person
When you long for more people in your life, it’s easy to think: “I need to find someone.” Try turning that around. Find a setting first. Do something you enjoy. Go where people are. Come back. Say hello. Dare to suggest grabbing a coffee. Let the relationships come afterwards. And if it’s other singles you’re particularly interested in meeting, you can read our guide on where to meet singles. Do what you like. Meet someone you like.
